Yoga Takes Center Stage In GOP Presidential Debate

DETROIT –  Ben Carson, a native of Detroit, skipped the 11th GOP presidential debate here yesterday evening because he is just about done. That left only four alpha males on the stage last night (Kasich, Rubio, Cruz, and some guy from New York wearing a phony comb-over).


The guy from New York – who isn’t at all sure whether he really wants Chris Christie to be one of his bodyguards – is well-known for his penchant for interrupting anybody who gets in his way.


Which is why Cruz, after a typical bombastic interruption by the guy from New York, said “Breathe, Donald, breathe.”


That prompted Rubio to joke that his remaining rivals were primed for yoga, especially the comb-over guy from New York.


“He’s very flexible,” Rubio said, referring to the frequent flip-flops by the guy who lives in his own Tower.


After the tower guy made it clear that his hands are very powerful, a solitary reporter, seized by an irresistible impulse, leapt onto the stage to demonstrate the only stance that he ever learned in two years of yoga.


As the solitary reporter performed an extremely graceful downward dog, the guy from New York, not skipping a beat, kicked the solitary reporter in the rump, as the audience gasped in horror.


Next, Mitt Romney, who, earlier in the day, gave an impassioned speech denouncing the candidate who is leading in the polls, reassured the solitary reporter that he had done the right thing by demonstrating his prowess in yoga, even though he is a Unitarian Universalist. Romney then kicked the brash New York guy in the cojones, and, much to the astonishment and chagrin of RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, announced that if Paul Ryan doesn’t jump in and run for president, he will.


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