DUBLIN – Furious (but secretly gratified) at the desire on the part of numerous British MPs to bar him from entering the United Kingdom because of his by now well-known lack of hospitality to Muslims entering the United States, GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump has assumed citizenship in the Republic of Ireland.
“I can do anything I want,” Trump told a solitary reporter, “which is why, against the express wishes of Ireland’s Taoiseach (president), Enda Kenny, I have arrogated to myself citizenship in this bucolic land.”
“I am entitled to dual citizenship, because I’m a citizen of the world. I am going to fill all of Ireland with my casinos."
After reading on this apocryphal website about Trump’s Declaration of Irish Citizenship, Dr. Renée Binder, the President of the American Psychiatric Association, explained to our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, “Donald Trump fits all the criteria for classification in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of The American Psychiatric Association as having a narcissistic personality disorder. Everybody knows that. You don’t need a psychiatrist to figure that out.”
But Trump, well aware that he will march into the White House exactly one year from today after serving an eviction notice on Barack Obama, said that his big catch, Sarah Palin, is the one who urged him to take Irish citizenship so that he can have a foothold in the British Isles to launch an all-out military attack against the UK for dissing him.