Texas Set To Invade Manhattan

NORTH CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA – You read it first here.


At the sixth GOP presidential debate here on Thursday, the gloves finally came off: presidential wannabe Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas), who had been playing nicey-nicey with mega-billionaire Donald Trump up to now, reminded The Donald that he lives in Trump Tower, and that people in The Lone Star State hate everything that Manhattan represents. 


Trump, ever the champion of the birther movement, cast aspersions on Canada, where the junior senator from Texas was born.


Always a master debater, Ted immediately reminded Donald that previously, Trump had said that there was no problem with Cruz’ citizenship, until Cruz stirred up enough evangelicals in Iowa to give The Donald a few things to worry about.


A solitary reporter in Austin pried open the door of Gov. Greg Abbott’s residence and overheard the Republican governor (and former Texas Supreme Court Justice, appointed to that high position by Bush Two) conversing loudly and boisterously with Texas Adjutant General Maj. Gen. John F. Nichols, as they planned an invasion of Manhattan. General Nichols is in charge of the Texas Military.


“Of course,” Gen. Nichols said, “we will use all three branches of the Texas Military, as well as the Texas Rangers.”


Gov. Abbott nodded in agreement.


“And a certain tower will be the primary target, right?”


“Damn straight!"

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