ON THE GOP PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN TRAIL — After Donald Trump, still leading in the polls, called out Ted Cruz yesterday on his Canadian birth, saying that the Tea Party favorite is not eligible to be president because he was born in Canada, Cruz’ campaign manager, Jeff Roe, surreptitiously visited the New York City Office of Vital Records, seeking information on whether Trump was really born in Queens on June 14, 1946.
Roe noticed that the clerk who assisted him seemed in good humor, having read, on his lunch break, this online satirical online newspaper.
Exhibiting good cheer, the clerk promptly produced official records showing that Donald John Trump was born on June 14, 1946, in Trumplandia, a Caribbean island six kilometers east of Grand Cayman Island.
“Aha! Eureka!” Roe exclaimed.
Back in Cruz for President campaign headquarters in Houston, Roe huddled with campaign strategist Jason Johnson.
Expect some interesting fireworks on January 14, when Cruz, having overtaken Ben Carson in the polls in Iowa, will reveal in the next GOP presidential debate that Donald Trump was born well outside the United States, very close to Grand Cayman, known since the 19th century as a tax haven.