Priebus Apologizes To Hillary For Trump

RNC HEADQUARTERS — Two days after Donald Trump demanded that Hillary Clinton apologize to him for claiming that DAESH (ISIS) is using Trump’s anti-Muslim tirades as a recruiting tool, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus emailed Hillary Clinton to apologize for Trump. A solitary reporter observed Priebus’ high level of discomfort as he did so.


“SR,” Priebus said, “if Trump is nominated I lose my job, and we lose the election to Hillary. I extended that apology to Hillary to let Donald know that he’s the worst thing to happen to the GOP since Goldwater.”


“Please tell your worldwide network of subscribers about my apology. Once you do, the word will get out quickly. I realize I’ll lose my job as soon as the Republican convention begins in July, but as a loyal Republican, I have no choice.”


“I cut my political teeth in Wisconsin, and my buddy Scott Walker will take care of me once I get kicked out of here and Trump replaces me with his wife.”


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