Trump: "I'm gonna build a wall all around the USA"

TRUMP TOWER, NEW YORK — In an email statement jubilantly released yesterday by The Donald for President Campaign, America’s leading xenophobe, Donald Trump, announced that when he becomes president, no Muslims will be allowed to enter the United States, even if they are American citizens returning from overseas.

There was a footnote in the email, in the form of an emoji, which was read only by a solitary reporter. In it, Trump said that when he becomes president, he will insist on a wall being built all around the United States. “And I’m gonna make every Muslim in the world pay for it, especially Muslims here in this exceptional nation of ours!”

“I’m gonna use my powers of eminent domain to close, and then sell, every mosque in America as part of the American Muslims’ contribution for my wall, including two very long sea walls."

RNC Chairman Reince Priebus told our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, that, although, as usual, Trump did not ask him to approve the email before releasing it, he applauds it because it will motivate angry white men, especially those who have not been to college, never again to vote for a Democrat for president.

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