MOSCOW — After reading Michael Schmidt and David Sanger’s article in today’s New York Times about how Russian hackers have penetrated deeply into White House correspondence, a solitary reporter decided to look into the matter further.

The solitary reporter has ways of finding out about things.

Schmidt and Sanger reported that “some of President Obama’s email correspondence was swept up by Russian hackers last year in a breach of the White House’s unclassified computer system that was far more intrusive and worrisome than has been publicly acknowledged, according to senior American officials briefed on the investigation.”

Has anybody figured out yet what Edward Snowden is doing in Moscow?

So the solitary reporter, who watched John Oliver’s interview with Snowden, met with Snowden at his apartment, where Snowden readily admitted that he was behind the breach. “It was as easy as eating ice cream,” the former NSA contractor said.

Snowden also said that Russian President Vladimir Putin has hosted him numerous times at his luxurious villa on the Black Sea. “The vodka flowed freely,” Snowden said, "and there was plenty of Iranian caviar."

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