ALABAMA'S JUDGE MOORE IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, YET AGAIN

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA — Roy Moore, Alabama’s Chief Justice, best known for being tossed out of  office in 2003 for refusing to obey a federal court order commanding him to remove a refrigerator-size display of the Ten Commandments from the Alabama Judicial Building, is in the news again.


Earlier today, the US Supreme Court denied Alabama’s request to stay enforcement of a federal district court order holding unconstitutional the Yellowhammer State’s ban on same-sex marriage. But Judge Moore, who thrives on controversy as he quixotically defends the outmoded concept of States’ Rights, has done it again. In the face of the 7-2 refusal of the US Supreme Court to stay the Alabama federal district court order permitting gay marriage, Moore issued an order to all Probate Court judges in Alabama forbidding them from permitting same-sex marriages. Despite Moore’s injunction, dozens of same-sex marriages were performed today in Alabama.


A publicity hound, Moore told a solitary reporter that he is reviving his presidential campaign. He tried to run for president in 2012 but had to give up on the idea.


“It’s right here in the Ten Commandments, God abhors any kind of homosexual activity,” Moore told the solitary reporter. “And in the Alabama Constitution as well. By the way, God wrote the Alabama Constitution, and I was His amanuensis. Bet you didn’t know that.”


When the solitary reporter showed Moore the text of the Ten Commandments, the judge was thrown temporarily off guard, but he quickly recovered, saying that there is an Eleventh Commandment, an instruction which God gave him directly. The Eleventh Commandment, he claims, contains God’s  appointment of Moore as the living embodiment of divine wisdom. “That’s why I’m running for president, because I am so much holier than Mike Huckabee.”


As he left the interview with the solitary reporter, Chief Justice Moore headed directly to his Chambers, preparing an order restraining all movie theaters in Alabama from showing the Oscar-nominated film, Selma.


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