FCC HEADQUARTERS, WASHINGTON — Ever since her party lost big time in November, Nancy Pelosi has been unhappy.

But today she is smiling.

Standing next to a solitary reporter and Federal Communications Commission Chairman Tom Wheeler, Pelosi congratulated Wheeler for proposing net neutrality, so that the big players on the Internet, such as Google, eBay, and Netflix, won’t continue to be bullies.

Republicans, however, are not pleased, as they almost universally think that any kind of regulation by the government is bad.

“Although I am very pleased that Tom has accepted the president’s recommendations for net neutrality,” Pelosi said, “Tom needs to make net neutrality well, un-neutral.”

“He should announce that the Internet will be used exclusively for the propagation of Democratic Party ideology. It’s the only way we have any hope of straightening this country out.”

Darrell Issa, the wealthiest Member of Congress with a net worth of $450 million, was outraged, and immediately convened a hearing of his House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, demanding that the House expel Pelosi.

But Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chair of the DNC, told Pelosi, “Nancy, you don’t have a thing to worry about, but in the unlikely event that you do, I’ll be glad to take your place as Minority Leader so I can become Speaker when we elect Hillary."

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