DENVER — Here in the Mile High City, there’s always something exciting going on, especially for a solitary reporter.

The solitary reporter noticed two intriguing articles in today’s Denver Post.

The headline for the first article reads “Police on alert for ’Pink Thong Bandit.’ ” 

It seems that one Gary Miller, 36, enjoys exposing himself, and that he did so on June 22 “… in the alley between the 2300 block of Irving and Hooker Streets.”

Denver’s Finest are looking for Mr. Miller, who is also suspected in multiple indecent-exposure incidents in West Denver. Mr. Miller has been dubbed the “Pink Thong Bandit.”

The article goes on to mention that Mr. Miller drives a silver Chevrolet pickup with Wyoming plates, and that his truck may have decals on the rear windows for Cowboy Custom Pro Property.

The alert reporter for the Post did not mention whether Mr. Miller’s pink thongs were manufactured in Wyoming, The Cowboy State.

The other article of interest to the solitary reporter, conveniently found, also, on Page 2A of today’s Post, is “Breast-feeding addressed.”

It seems that one Rochelle Bricker found herself in the lobby of the Denver Downtown Detention Center and was nursing her two-year-old daughter. She and other moms were staging a “nurse-in,” when a Sheriff’s Deputy yelled out to her, saying, “Hey, you! You with the blue hair!” The Deputy then told her that she is not allowed to breast-feed in the lobby and that she had to go to the bathroom.

It is not known whether Ms. Bricker is a Democrat. But she probably is, because she asserted her rights under Colorado law, which protects a woman’s right to breast-feed in public places. (She went to the Detention Center to bail out people who had been arrested at the previous night’s protest in solidarity with Ferguson.)

For the past several months now, the Denver Sheriff’s Department has undergone enormous public scrutiny because of incidents in which Deputies have interacted with inmates in unfriendly ways. In particular, a homeless preacher, Marvin Booker, died while in custody, and his family obtained a wrongful death judgment which will cost Denver taxpayers, including the solitary reporter, millions of dollars.

Interim Sheriff Elias Diggins apologized to Ms. Bricker.

As of press time, it was not known whether Mayor Michael B. Hancock, who is seeking reelection in May, apologized to Ms. Bricker.

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