TISHIMONGO, OKLAHOMA — After watching President Obama’s address on immigration yesterday with a solitary reporter, Chickasaw Nation Governor Bill Anoatubby called his counterpart, Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin, and told her to call Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas). Cruz cemented his credibility with the Tea Party last year on the floor of the Senate when he remained on his feet for twenty-one hours while advocating replacing the Constitution with Green Eggs and Ham. No doubt, Cruz will call on Congress to block the funding of the Department of Homeland Security, which has responsibilities for sending people away who are not supposed to be here.

“Mary,” Anoatubby said, “my people came to the Indian Territory at the kind invitation of President Jackson in 1830 from our homes in Mississippi.”

"President Jackson got Congress to pass the Indian Removal Act, under which a remnant of my people, as well as the Cherokees, Creeks, Chocktaws, and Seminoles, found their way to Oklahoma long before oil was discovered here."

“Ted Cruz,” Anoatubby continued, "is a Canadian by birth, but I was born right here in Tishimongo, the heartland of the Chickasaw Nation. That means that I am much more of an American than Cruz.”

“It has been proposed on good authority to deport Cruz to either Cuba or Canada. Makes no difference to me, but the sooner the better.”

Immediately persuaded by Anoatubby’s eloquence, Gov. Fallin called her close personal friend, leading climate change denier Sen. James Inhofe (R. Oklahoma), and arranged for Anoatubby to be flown in one of the RNC’s numerous private jets to Las Vegas, where he will be on the podium later today in Las Vegas with his fellow Democrat as Obama signs his long-awaited executive order.

En route to Las Vegas, Anoatubby told the solitary reporter that he will advise Obama not to visit Oklahoma, “But the president will always be welcome in my home in Tishimongo."

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