As the People’s Liberation Army entered Kowloon from Guangdong Province early this morning, British paratroopers landed on Hong Kong Island, the governmental and financial center of Hong Kong, and handed Hong Kong’s Chief Executive, Leung Chun-ying, a proclamation from British Prime Minister David Cameron and Queen Elizabeth II. All of this was witnessed by a solitary reporter.


“The People’s Republic of China,” the Queen's Proclamation began, “has failed to implement the Basic Law, under which I graciously allowed Hong Kong and Kowloon to revert to China in 1997. But in the last two weeks, Mr. Leung has refused to resign in the face of protests from thousands of pro-democracy activists.”


“So I’m taking it back."


Alarmed, Chinese President Xi Jinping begged Russian President Vladimir Putin to intervene, but Putin said he is too busy taking over Eastern Ukraine to get involved just now, but that eventually he would like to have a lot of Hong Kong’s money.


From the White House, President Obama, seriously irked by China’s refusal to stop its meddling in the South China Sea, said he would support Cameron and the Queen. “Michelle and Lizzy are the best of friends,” he said.


At press time, the paratroopers occupied all of Hong Kong Island, while the PLA leveled hundreds of homes in Kowloon and began digging trenches.

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