DENVER —Yesterday, right here in the Mile High City, retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson won the presidential straw poll of 666 conservative Christian political activists at the fifth annual Western Conservative Summit after giving a fiery speech attacking President Obama for doing his utmost to provide affordable health care to all Americans.


An obstreperous solitary reporter was ejected from the event after trying to force his way past numerous centurions employed by Colorado Christian University, which organized the event.


Dr. Carson, who notoriously headlined the National Prayer Breakfast in 2013, opined at that event on several social and fiscal issues, including political correctness, education, the national debt, health care, and taxation. On political correctness, Carson remarked: “PC is dangerous, because you see, this country, one of the founding principles was freedom of thought and freedom of expression. And it [PC] muffles people. It puts a muzzle on them.” 


John Phillip Sousa IV, the great-grandson of John Phillip Sousa, who heads the Draft Ben Carson for President Committee, told the obstreperous solitary reporter that Dr. Carson had given America the clinically best prescription for bringing theocracy to America. Sousa has raised $4 million in his quest to land the second African American in the White House.


Although Dr. Carson would prefer to enter the White House as the standard-bearer of the Logic Party, he told Sousa that the GOP would be just fine so long as it is values-based and dominated and controlled by the Tea Party.


At the end of the day, the centurions muzzled the solitary reporter and escorted him to a nearby Presbyterian church where he had served the homeless shelter in the church’s basement for nine years. “What comes around goes around,” they said, as they pushed him down the stairs.




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