KABUL – With only a few days left in office, Afghan President Hamid Karzai called Iraqi President Nouri al-Maliki earlier today and offered to trade places with him.


Karzai, a Sunni, told al-Maliki, a Shiite, that when ISIS captures Baghdad in a day or two, he will be much better suited to deal with the Sunni insurgents who have already captured Tikrit and Mosul.  “I’m really good at manipulating the Americans, Karzai said, “plus, really soon, I’ll need a job."


As of press time, al-Maliki’s response to Karzai was unclear.


In other news, Idaho GOP Congressman Raul Labrador entered the race to become Majority Leader of the Republican-led House of Representatives. “It’s time to have a Puerto Rican and a Mormon in a leadership position in the House,” the two-term Congressman explained to a solitary reporter.


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