OUISTREHAM, NORMANDY – Your solitary reporter always knows where to find world leaders.


Yesterday, not far from Omaha Beach, Russian President Vladimir Putin condescended to attend a special luncheon commemorating D-Day. The luncheon was hosted by French President François Hollande. Putin was seated next to the Queen of Denmark, while on the other side of the dais, President Barack Obama was seated next to Queen Elizabeth II.


The mainstream media reported that Putin and Obama spoke for a few minutes after the luncheon, but they failed to report on their three-hour chat, at a bistro, afterwards.


During their intimate chat at the bistro, Putin spent most of the time trying to teach Russian, as well as Russian history, to his American counterpart.


“Young man,” the smallish Putin said, “when our Imperial forces occupied Paris in 1814, our hungry soldiers went into some little Parisian eateries, saying быстро (“bistro”), which means ‘quick' in our language, which is a much more beautiful language than the Queen’s English.”


In response, Obama, reserving his harshest stare yet for Putin, said, “Okay, Vlad the Impaler, get the hell out of Eastern Ukraine faster than quick, or else I won’t have any foreign policy victories to hand over to Hillary."


In other news, the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre had a hell of a time deciding which of yesterday’s shooting sites to go to cheer on the shooters: Cummings, Georgia (the "Gateway to Leisure Living”), or Seattle.


“I need to be cloned,” LaPierre said, "but failing that, a total tax exemption for my travel would be really nice.”


Write a comment

Comments: 0