BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS — Ted Cruz has done it again.
Appearing here with Florida’s Marco Rubio, another prominent consumer and propagator of Tea Party and Republican bullshit, Cruz stepped up to a microphone, held for him and for him alone by a solitary reporter, to denounce the failure of CuidadoDeSalud.gov, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’ best effort yet to sell the Affordable Care Act to Latinos.
CuidadoDeSalud, which can be literally translated to mean “For the Caution of Health,” is the official Spanish-language version of the federal health care website, Healthcare.gov; CuidadoDeSalud.gov was launched two months late.
According to an article published in yesterday’s Denver Post by a news organization, The Associated Press (which attempts, albeit unsuccessfully, to compete with Apocryphal Press), the translations in CuidadoDeSalud.gov ”… were so clunky and full of grammatical mistakes that critics say they must have been computer-generated."
Cruz addressed all 162,963 Latino residents of this, the 16th most populous city in the Lone Star State, located on the southernmost tip of Texas on the northern bank of the Rio Grande, across the border from Matamoros, Tamaulipas.
Cruz, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee's Subcommittee on Immigration, Refugees and Border Security, proceeded to explain in fluent Canadian that he personally guarantees his audience’s numerous relatives across the border in Matamoros that they will be able successfully to pursue their path to US citizenship as long as they promise, upon taking the oath of citizenship, to join the three or four Latino Republican Texans who swept him into office, as long as they register to vote as lifelong members of the Tea Party or, failing that, as Republicans.
But before he did that, Cruz went ripping after Obamacare with these persuasive words: "He querido matar a Obamacar desde que tenía cinco años de edad y estaba viviendo en Canadá (“I’ve wanted to kill Obamacare since I was five and living in Canada!”)
“Ahora lo he hecho!” (“now I’ve done it!” — by which the very junior senator from Texas meant to say that he has killed Obamacare because CuidadoDeSalud.gov is incomprehensible in any language).
For his part, Rubio, who has not yet announced his candidacy for president on the Tea Party ticket, unsuccessfully stifled a laugh as Cruz was explaining to his entirely Hispanic audience that he loves them even though he is a Canadian at heart.
Watching these proceedings with great amusement as well as astonishment from his office in Austin, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, yet another politician seeking to derail Hillary Clinton’s relentless but unannounced march to the presidency, tweeted RNC Chair Reinhold Reince Priebus and told him to tell Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to “get yo’ friggin’ ass down to Brownsville right now and watch Ted make a damn fool of himself, like he always does."