CHEYENNE, WYOMING – Wyoming’s Republican governor, Matt Mead, is very happy. On Thursday, he announced that Magpul Industries, a large gun appliance manufacturer now based in Erie, Colorado, will be moving to Cheyenne.
Last year, Magpul conspicuously whined about sensible gun control laws being considered in Colorado, and promised to move out of state if the legislation passed. Yesterday’s joint announcement by Mead and Magpul fulfilled Magpul’s promise. In his press release welcoming Magpul to Wyoming, the governor made it very clear that Wyoming is a state which places top priority on “defending the Second Amendment."
The above facts puzzled a solitary reporter, who noted that with the sale of recreational marijuana in Colorado having become legal on New Year’s Day, the Wyoming State Patrol has warned motorists traveling to Wyoming from Colorado that they may be stopped, especially if their cars have Wyoming license plates, and their possessions checked to see whether they are illegally importing weed into the Cowboy State. Wyoming is one of only 48 states which prohibits possession of marijuana; federal law, much to the consternation of marijuana advocates in Colorado, still prohibits such possession.
The solitary reporter has learned that big-time marijuana legalization proponent Rob Corry, who evidently thinks that smoking pot makes the entire world run better, and that if everybody smokes weed, the world will become safe for democracy, has advised the Wyoming State Patrol that their work of intercepting marijuana shipments into Wyoming will proceed much more smoothly if the state troopers are themselves stoned.
But the solitary reporter beat Corry to the punch by telling the state troopers that thousands of pounds of pot are being muzzled into Wyoming in the magazines of Magpul’s assault weapons.
“It makes all the sense in the world,” the solitary reporter explained to Corry, who was trying to distract the state troopers by blowing smoke in their faces. “All the cowboys in Wyoming have a tremendous need for weed when they are shooting their assault weapons.”
Gov. Mead, however, instructed Col. John Butler, the head of the Wyoming Highway Patrol, to arrest Corry. The GOP governor reminded Butler that the Denver Democratic Party had endorsed Amendment 64, which legalized recreational marijuana in Colorado in 2012. “Anything that the Democrats are for,” Mead explained, “we are against.”
“We don’t have hardly any people in Wyoming,” Mead said. “So we need to keep our prison guards busy. Put handcuffs on Corry and that crazy-ass solitary reporter.”
That’s why Gov. Mead is so happy. He will soon have a gun manufacturing facility right in his backyard, only 100 miles north of Denver, and he will have at least two additional inmates.