WASHINGTON — Exuberant at yesterday's victory of the Democrats (who believe in government) over the Republicans (who don't), a solitary reporter rushed breathlessly to the Office of the Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid, at 2 o'clock this morning, Washington time.
“Mr. Leader!” The solitary reporter exclaimed. “Your victory over Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz, and John Boehner is so spectacular, do you plan to run for President in 2016?”
Giving the solitary reporter a withering glance, the senior senator from Searchlight, Nevada, a lifelong Mormon, snapped, “Don't you realize what happened to the last Mormon who ran for president? And truth be told, I'm not near as pretty, or sexy, as Mitt.”
Elsewhere in the Nation's Capital, Senator Tim Scott (TP-SC) put on his boxing gloves, saying “I'm really looking forward to facing off against Cory Booker.”