THE WHITE HOUSE — Interviewed today by CNN's Chris Cuomo, President Barack Obama delivered a brilliant monologue on the separation of powers, saying “Congress doesn't have a lot of core responsibilities.”

“You know,” the president continued, “I work out a lot when I'm not listening to secret, intimate conversations between Ted Cruz and his rich oil guys, so I know everything there is to know about how to preserve, protect, and defend my core; and even though Ted Cruz thinks I have no core values of all, I'm a lot more interested in enhancing my own physical core than in trying to tell the House of Representatives what to do, since they don't have a lot of core responsibilities anyway.”

Cuomo, who had just seen the red-hot movie, Lee Daniels' The Butler, asked Obama whether he would have enjoyed serving as White House Butler. Obama replied that having butlers at the White House is totally inconsistent with his Christian values.


“I'm no theologian, like my friend over there, the solitary reporter, but seems to me that Jesus had no need for a butler whatsoever.”


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