WASHINGTON — Watching the Black Forest Fire on his 69-inch flatscreen TV from his lavishly furnished office on Capitol Hill, Congressman Doug Lamborn (TP-Colo.) praised El Paso County's Sheriff, Terry Maketa, for instructing his deputies and El Paso County firefighters to take the day off from work.


The Black Forest Fire is in Lamborn's District. The Black Forest Fire, northeast of Colorado Springs, has forced the evacuation of 7,000 people, with only card-carrying members of either the Colorado Republican Party or the Colorado Tea Party being offered shelter, and, even then, only in private homes and evangelical churches.

“As an active member of the Congressional Tea Party Caucus,” Lamborn explained to a solitary reporter, as the veteran Colorado Congressman cavalierly sipped a cool glass of iced tea, “we believe that taxes in our free society should only be used to fund the salaries of members of the Congressional Tea Party Caucus.”

“At least, that's what  my close personal friend, Michele Bachmann, the courageous founder of our Tea Party Caucus, says, and basically I do whatever she tells me to.”

“You see,” Lamborn continued, “every time a governmental service such as preventing or fighting forest fires is provided, it increases taxes, and we don't want that. We don't want to pay any taxes at all, except, as I just said, for exceptional circumstances such as keeping me comfortable right here, where I won't be bothered by constituents.”

“I'm devastated that Michele is leaving Congress; when she leaves, I'll be lost, to such an extent that I might even have to go to Democrats for advice.”

Back in El Paso County, Sheriff Maketa, who testified vociferously against sensible gun-control regulations supported by Gov. John Hicknlooper, instructed his deputies, during their day off, to polish their weapons.


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