WASHINGTON — In his daily rounds at the United States Capitol, your solitary reporter makes a habit of observing a great many things that don't happen.

Frustrated at the rapid pace at which Congress is passing legislation to prevent massacres such as those which occurred at Columbine, Virginia Tech, Aurora, and Newtown, the NRA's top gun, Wayne LaPierre, accosted California Sen. Dianne Feinstein yesterday right there in the chamber of the United States Senate, stuck a Saturday night special on the left side of her head, and threatened to take her out unless she withdraws her bill to reinstate portions of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban.

Very calmly, Feinstein told LaPierre that if she could, she would overturn the Second Amendment.


The solitary reporter then tackled LaPierre, took away his gun, and serenely walked out of the chamber, to the applause of all the Democratic senators.

Later, Terrance Gainer, the Senate Sergeant at Arms, explained to the solitary reporter that he had instructed his subordinates not to pat down LaPierre as he entered the Senate chamber because of the NRA's overweening power, political and otherwise, “over everything under the sun.” 

“Wayne has a lot of close personal friends in the Senate, all of whom are Republicans,” Gainer said. “Everybody around here is afraid of him."


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Comments: 1
  • #1

    Nate Robinson (Wednesday, 20 March 2013 00:53)

    Anybody with an ounce of common sense can see right through Wayne LaPierre. He is all about making money for himself, Gun manufacturers and their stock holders.