KIM III to Obama: “Send Kim Kardashian over here right away”

PYONGYANG, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF KOREA — Saber-rattling to his heart's content, postpubescent North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un confided to a solitary reporter that he is, as usual, just playing games.

“True enough, SR,” the pudgy twentysomething ruler, Kim III, explained. “As usual, we only go on these tirades to attract attention to ourselves when the rest of the world, even our stodgy Communist ally, China, ignores us.”

“My father, Kim II, was smart enough to get Bill Clinton over here so Clinton could escort two American journalists out of our glorious workers' paradise.”

“I want Barack Obama to send Kim Kardashian over here. If he does that, he can have all my nukes.”

“I am sure that Kim Kardashian is a close personal friend of Dennis Rodman.”

Kardashian's publicist refused to talk with the solitary reporter because his client was too busy making porn videos. Rodman, on the other hand, was tweeting his millions of followers about what a cool place North Korea is.


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