WASHINGTON -- Yesterday, on the steps of the United States Capitol, former Tea Party presidential wannabe Michele Amble Bachmann (TP-Minn.) castrated Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) for joining a bipartisan group of Senators who somehow think that the Democrats should make it easier for Republicans to grab votes from Latinas and Latinos, which votes the GOP in no way deserves.

The castration was witnessed by a solitary reporter.

"The man is a traitor to his own Republican Party," Bachmann exuded. "Unlike me, you never know where he stands, plus, he's such an old fart, he can hardly even stand up, let alone stand up to the Democrats in the Senate, who are all Commies."

"So I'm just gonna amble over to the Senate and see who else over there needs fixing...maybe Durbin. He's a big, tall man, you know, and he's flakier than the junior senator from Arizona."

After the ceremony of castration, McCain told his attorneys to revise his Last Will and Testament to establish a Sec. 527 organization to defeat teapartyism, much as former Rep. Gabby Giffords and her husband, Mark Kelly, established an organization to defeat the NRA.


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