CNN — CNN's own Piers Morgan, confronted by Libertarian radio talk show host Alex Jones yesterday evening, announced that he is following the advice of former presidential wannabe Mitt Romney by accepting voluntary deportation to the United Kingdom. 

“I'm a loyal subject of the Queen,” Morgan explained. “You, sir, are a horse's ass.”

In yesterday evening's show, Jones, a Rush Limbaugh wannabe, while picking his nose and farting, and toting all 50 of his beloved firearms, pointed them at Morgan, and all the while reiterated his contention that the 9/11 attacks were brought about solely by agents of the United States government, and, coincidentally, and merely as an afterthought, accused Morgan of violating the Constitution of a nation of which he is not a citizen, by reminding Jones that last year in the United Kingdom, 35 people were killed by guns, while more than 11,000 people were killed by guns in the United States of America,;

The NRA's Chief Gunslinger, Wayne LaPierre, when asked for comment by a solitary reporter, said that he was the first macho man to sign Jones' petition to the White House to deport Morgan, which, as of this instant, has been signed by more than 104,000 individuals.

“Next time I go to Connecticut or Colorado,” LaPierre said, “I'm taking Alex Jones with me.”

Morgan concluded his polite discussion with Jones by announcing that he has accepted famed UK screenwriter Julian Fellowes' invitation to appear in drag on next week's broadcast of Downton Abbey as a scullery maid. “I'll be closely supervised by Daisy,” Morgan explained.


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