WASHINGTON — As Congress and President Obama race toward certain political death at the bottom of the fiscal and political cliff, a solitary reporter, who is also a television miniseries writer wannabe, has, moments ago, submitted the perfect script to win an Emmy to AMC.
Earlier today, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was heard on NPR, explaining to NPR's 47 million listeners that a “Deal” to avert the crisis is easily in reach, so long as he has a “dancing partner” in Vice-President Joe Biden.
But, lo and behold, the NRA's chief gunslinger, Wayne LaPierre, was waiting for both McConnell and Biden at the bottom of the political cliff (see our post of December 17, in which LaPierre finished off Boehner).
The following extremely telegenic piece of dialogue is the central element in the solitary reporter's script:
LaPierre (yelling to the undynamic duo of Biden and McConnell): “Take this -- and this -- and this -- and this: both of you sons-a-bitches wanted to tax every single assault weapon in America. That, guys, is a capital offense, and I'm really glad you're both dead.”
The solitary reporter's script has just been sold on eBay for a mere $3 million.
“Damn,” the solitary reporter said to no one in particular, “I should've tried to peddle it to 20th Century Fox.”
“That way, Rupert Murdoch, who controls 20th Century Fox, would gladly give me all the money I need to build my new house.”