WASHINGTON — Our nation's complex diplomatic and military strategy in Syria has become a bit more complicated.

Moments ago, Sen. John McCain, an early proponent of American military intervention in Syria, announced that he plans to recruit fugitive antivirus entrepreneur John McAfee to parachute into Damascus to take out Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad.

McAfee has been labeled by law enforcement authorities in Belize as a person of interest in the murder of his neighbor, American expatriate Gregory Faull, on the island of Ambergris Caye, the largest island in Belize.

“It won't be that difficult,” McCain explained to a solitary reporter on the floor of the Senate, where the senior senator from Arizona was trying unsuccessfully to get Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to shut up and give President Obama a break in the fiscal cliff negotiations. “I still have a few buddies in the CIA who can spring McAfee out of Guatamala so he won't have to stand trial in Belize.”

“John McAfee is an entrepreneurial hero,” McCain continued. “Even though a judge down there in Guatamala has ordered him to be released from detention and deported to Belize, he shouldn't have to suffer the indignities of a trial there.”

Advised by the same solitary reporter of McCain's plans, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who has just recognized the Syrian Opposition Coalition as the legitimate representative of the Syrian people, said, “It sure is a good thing that Barack Obama prevailed over John McCain a mere four years ago.”

Meanwhile, back in Guatamala, at the detention center where he is being held, McAfee had no comment, except to say that he appreciates McCain's concern, but that “All I really want to do is get back to my island haven over there in Belize and get back to partying.”

And in Damascus, rumors of Assad's imminent departure to Moscow abounded, but could not be independently confirmed.

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