APOCRYPHAL PRESS HEADLINE SERVICE
Romney On Two-Year Mission As Big Boss of IKEA
Inhales Last Remaining Stocks of Twinkies
“It's a free gift that he gave to himself,” Ann Explains
Mitt Vows To Move All 18,500 Hostess Brands Ex-Employees To Prison Labor Camps in Kenya
Jill Kelley Nominates Herself To Succeed Hillary Clinton
Rice Versus Brown In MA After Kerry Goes To State
McCain Is US Ambassador To Antarctica
Globe-Trotter Petraeus Named To Succeed Rice At UN
Paula Broadwell To Be December Playboy Centerfold
Gen. John Allen To Succeed Leon Panetta
Schumer Nominates Netanyahu As Top NATO Boss
Totally Boring Day On Tap For Tomorrow
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