DANVILLE, KENTUCKY — Immediately after Thursday's Vice Presidential debate here at at Centre College, Facebook crashed, throwing the world's communication system into cataclysmic shock.
“In their confrontation, Joe Biden called Paul Ryan his friend so many times, and so insincerely,” Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said, “that it simply wiped out our system.”
“What about our $3.7 billion in lost annual revenue?” Zuckerberg wailed.
Confronted by Zuckerberg after he walked off stage, Biden said, “Mark, my friend, that's nothing to worry about: we'll just give you that $3.7 billion to make up for it, from stimulus funds."
Obama for America Campaign Manager Jim Messina applauded Biden, saying, “It's a great idea. It'll revive the economy.”
Fresh from an IMF meeting, where world financial leaders worried openly about America's chances for financial resiliency, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner agreed, saying “That's right. It'll guarantee the president's reelection.”