SHAKEUP AT FIRST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

DENVER — The Commission on Presidential Debates announced moments ago that it has removed Jim Lehrer as the moderator of the long-awaited debate, on October 3, at the University of Denver, between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.

Lehrer will be replaced by a solitary reporter.

“It's very costly to bring in a big name like Lehrer from out-of-state,” explained Frank Fahrenkopf, Chairman of the Commission. “The solitary reporter lives right here in Denver, but more importantly, there is really no need to have a moderator for this debate, when this presidential campaign has displayed no moderation at all.”

“So instead of referring to the solitary reporter as Moderator,” Fahrenkopf continued, “we'll just call him the Decider.”