Trump Dumps Pence for Ann Coulter

There are reasons why people should not vote for someone for the highest office in the land, when the candidate has never been elected to anything.


Ronald Reagan was an actor before he was governor of California for eight years. Now he’s a Republican icon.


Donald Trump, with a great deal of help from his father Fred, created his extraordinarily private mega-empire, and then he launched the Birther Movement.


He is unaware that presiding over our national government is not the same thing as running a huge private company which is only interested in making a great deal of money by building casinos and resorts where they are not needed.


Trump began his Shutdown over his Wall on December 22, and there’s no end in sight. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer did not start this crisis; Trump did and he owns it; he said before he caused it, that he would be proud to shut down the government if Congress wouldn’t do his bidding and give him $5.7 billion for his Wall. In December, the Republican Senate and the Republican House (remember Paul Ryan? He is, no doubt, breathing more easily these days, and enjoying Wisconsin beer and cheese) passed legislation authorizing funds for border security, with no funding for a concrete Wall, under the assumption that Trump had agreed (which he had), but then Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh lashed out at him and compared him to Jeb! Bush, because Jeb, in 2016, was making proposals for immigration reform that were not great, but which were at least half-way sensible, so Trump flipped. That’s after Coulter, a loudmouth, xenophobic firebrand if there ever was one, accused Trump of touting amnesty, and Trump, who is basically a coward, caved.


Trump has a lackey named Mike Pence, who exudes loyalty to Trump while, no doubt, articulating to his evangelical friends (of whom there are many) his ideas for creating an American theocracy.


Trump needs Pence, but he’s no good at keeping his top aides, at whom he regularly lashes out. And in his new book, KushnLet Me Finish: Trump, the Kushners, Bannon, New Jersey, and the Power of In-Your-Face Politics, Christie says that Trump surrounds himself with riffraff; after the election, as he recounts, Trump initially tapped Christie to run his transition, but then he ran headon into Son-in-Law-in-Chief Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon. Christie says that when he butted heads with Kushner and Bannon, his carefully prepared transition plans were literally thrown in a waste basket.


Early this morning, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was with Trump as he told her, “Johanna, you’re the first to know — I haven’t told Mulvaney and I haven’t even told Ivanka or Jared or Sarah.”


“I’m dumping Pence. He never gives me any advice, he just says Yes Sir and then I send him off to tell Congress what I want and then Mike doesn’t get it done.”


“Tonight, I’m gonna tweet that Mike wants to spend more time with his family, and that Ann Coulter has enthusiastically agreed to be my next in command.”


Always unsure when Trump will throw her out the window of his Oval Office — which he has done many times — Jones curtseyed and then immediately got in touch with our crack investigator, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman.


Within minutes, the audacious Sherman knocked loudly, unannounced, at Coulter’s sumptuous home in Palm Beach, not far from Mar-a-Lago.


Coulter greeted Sherman with a profanity, but Sherman, who is very good at getting her foot in the door when she needs to interview somebody at our request, congratulated Coulter on accepting Trump’s offer, curtseyed, and asked when the installation would take place.


“Oh,” Coulter said, “we already took care of that. Kavanaugh was just here, and because Brett, when he took the job on the Supreme Court at the urging of Leonard Leo, he agreed to do all other duties on behalf of hard-rock conservatism, as assigned. Brett swore me in last night.”


“The guy I’m dating now is my security guard, and he was with me. Nobody else.”


"Know what? Kavanaugh doesn't cut the mustard. He's not conservative enough, and I'm gonna say that in my next book."


“The only way Donald Trump can make America Great Again is if I am there telling him what to do.”


Sherman left and promptly texted us with a complete account of her visit with the next Trump Number Two.