As Donald Trump is in a Do-Or-Die Fight with Congress over his quintessentially unwelcoming Wall, our intrepid chief investigative journalist, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, has, all on her own, succeeded in penetrating the highest level of secrecy ever imposed on any court proceeding, ever, in the history of our exceptional nation.
On December 15, an entire floor of the United States Court House for the District of Columbia was closed for a Top Secret hearing. That happened, and our stellar cast of associate solitary reporters had some words to say about it (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2018/12/16/whitaker-mulvaney-and-nielsen-close-federal-courthouse-in-dc/).
And now, as ace Politico reporter Josh Gerstein tells us, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit (where Justice Brett Kavanaugh, Chief Justice John Roberts, the “notorious” Justice RBG, and typically unJust Clarence Thomas came from) has ruled (https://www.politico.com/story/2018/12/22/mystery-firm-mueller-subpoena-supreme-court-1074497).
At issue was a subpoena issued by highly respected and long-time prosecutor Special Counsel Robert Mueller against a foreign corporation that didn’t want to comply. The District Court ruled against that foreign corporation, and the D.C. Circuit affirmed the District Court. It all happened very quickly, and only a very very small number of people know the identify of the foreign hush-hush corporation.
The unknown foreign corporation could be based in Israel, Russia, or the Cayman Islands; but it has now asked Chief Justice Roberts for an emergency stay (https://www.politico.com/story/2018/12/22/mystery-firm-mueller-subpoena-supreme-court-1074497).
ASR Sherman is nothing if not extraordinary as a vigilant pursuer of The Truth as she understands it. Famed WaPo reporter Bob Woodward recently told associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones that he has hired Sherman to co-author with him his latest Reveal, about how former Indiana conservative talk show host Mike Pence plans to remake Trump’s White House into a Center for National Evangelistic Prayer after Trump is forced to leave the White House on April 1.
Very early this morning, ASR Sherman burst into Woodward’s office to tell him that the foreign corporation is TrumpLand Russia, a Registered Limited Liability Limited Partnership under Colorado law.
“Bob,” Sherman exlaimed, “Donald Trump, in his perpetual quest of The Almighty Dollar, will stop at nothing.”
“He’s had this sweetheart deal with Putin since Inauguration Day last year. That obscure little family partnership, in which even Timid Tiffany Trump has a significant interest, was formed to protect Putin whenever he wants to come to Washington and set up his intelligence operation right across from the White House, in Lafayette Square.”
“Trump’s hubris,” Sherman continued, “knows no bounds, and that’s why Mueller subpoenaed all the documents pertaining to TrumpLand Russia.”
“I just talked to Chief Justice Roberts, and he said that SCOTUS will issue its decision tomorrow morning at 6:45 am EST.”
"The Court’s opinion will read, in part, as follows:
'The matter before us today is controlled directly by our previous decision in United States v. Nixon, 418 U.S. 683 (1974), in which we unanimously told Tricky Dick to deliver tape recordings clearly documenting his participation, in a conspiracy to obstruct justice, to a federal district court. U.S. v. Nixon is a crucial precedent limiting the power of any U.S. president to claim executive privilege.
'We recognize, of course,' the Chief Justice’s opinion continues, ‘that the current occupant of the Oval Office is much more corrupt than Nixon ever was.
‘Which is why we authorized associate solitary reporter Sherman to tell the world about TrumpLand Russia.’"
When ASR Jones told Trump about tomorrow’s opinion, he turned to Chef Lackey Mike Pence and said, “Mike, what do we do now?”
“Sir,” Pence replied, “we put it all in the hands of God. Join me in prayer.”
For the first time in his life, Trump got down on his knees, just as Nixon did with Secretary of State Henry Kissinger after he gave Kissinger his letter of resignation.
“Lord God, you take away the sins of the world,” Pence began.
“Take away from thy servant Donald this yoke. Free him from all Muellerian-imposed misery.” Trump smiled and gave a thumbsup.
Outside at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, a limousine licensed to Mueller drove up and took Trump and Pence away under the 25th Amendment. When the Democrats take power on January 3, Nancy Pelosi will be our president.