Congressional Republicans, on the rare occasions when they pause to look at the big picture, are aware that the man who hijacked their Party has obsessive compulsive disorder, as evidenced by his stormy meeting yesterday with House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schmer.
But Congressman Warren Davidson (R-Ohio), who won the special election to succeed now happily self-exiled former House Speaker John Boehner, lacks any vision at all — no litle picture, no big picture. He was interviewed this morning on NPR’s Morning Edition by veteran host Steve Inskeep. Davidson’s a member of Congressman Mark Meadows’ Freedom Caucus, which means that he’s always free to praise Donald Trump for being the best negotiator who has ever betrayed hundeds, if not thousands, of people from all walks of life. Davidson said, among other things, that the only reason Democrats want millions of illegal people to come in here from south of our border, is so they can recruit more Democrats. Davidson forgot about the ideals this country has always proclaimed about welcoming the stranger, but Trump slammed a really hard door on that welcome on January 20, 2017.
The Trump-Pelosi-Schumer meeting had been scheduled for yesterday as a private meeting in an effort to resolve Trump’s total obsession with his Wall, but at the last minute, Trump, in a mistaken effort to throw the two veteran Dem pols off guard, brought the cameras and reporters in, and for seventeen dramatic minutes on camera, Trump trumpeted and bellowed that he wants a government shutdown if he doesn’t get his unnecessary $5 billion to build a Wall that he wants to rival Benjamin Netanyahu’s Wall in Israel; but of course Trump and Son-in-Law-in-Chief Jared Kushner are blissfully unaware that our US southern border is ever so much longer than Netanyahu’s Wall in Jerusalem.
Schumer and Pelosi, both reasonable and seasoned politicians who know a great deal about compromise, have agreed that they'll let Trump have $1.2 billion for his Wall, but Trump insists on $5 billion, and he’s dead set determined to shut much of the federal government down on December 21 just to show his base that he’ll do what he promised them.
And in that dramatic seventeen minutes, Trump told Pelosi and Schumer that he won’t blame them when he orders a partial government shutdown four days before Christmas.
Associate solitary reporter Serena Juguete, our resident ASR in Mexico, has been following Trump’s war against Mexico for several years now. ASR Juguete is the only American-educated reporter in whom Mexico’s new president, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (commonly referred to by his initials, AMLO), has full confidence. ASR Juguete tells us that AMLO is much smarter than his predecessor, Enrique Pena Nieto, who left office on November 30 with an approval rating of twelve percent — a rate even lower than Trump’s approval rating en Los Estados Unidos.
Trump famously said during his hyper-bombastic campaign in 2016 that he would build a Wall on our southern border and that he would make Mexico pay for it. But Pena Nieto told Trump he would never let that happen, and AMLO is equally clear on that point, though he is playing a good game by delaying the NAFTA negotiations to make a better deal for Mexico than Pena Nieto ever could have; yet Trump is putting out a lot of tomfoolery about how his stumbling effort to replace NAFTA will somehow result in Mexico’s paying for his Wall after all.
As we reported yesterday (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2018/12/11/yankees-president-randy-levine-for-chief-of-staff/), Trump’s appointed Surgeon General, Jerome Adams, is well aware of Trump’s OCD, and he is actively making arrangements to transfer Trump to a psychiatric ward where Trump will be far away from the cameras so the 25th Amendment can replace Trump with Evangelical-in-Chief Mike Pence.
Surgeon General Adams is a board certified anesthesiologist, and the Chief White House Physician, Dr. Sean Conley, is a board certified emergency physician.
Moments ago, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones observed Drs. Adams and Conley conferring on how to treat their conspicuously impatient patient.
“Sean,” Dr. Adams began, “you’re with him more than I am. But it sure seems to me he’s gone way over the top.”
“Actually, Jerome,” Dr. Conley replied, “Mr. Trump is really pissed that his personal gastroenterologist, Dr Harold Bernstein — you remember that phony medical report that Bornstein issued during the campaign, saying that Trump is in perfect health — isn’t here instead of me. So I rarely see him, but Johanna Jones here, and sometimes Melania, tell me on the sly that he’s completely lost all his marbles.”
As Jones watched, Dr. Adams, the anesthesiologist, slipped into Trump’s TV room, where Trump was foaming at the mouth as he saw CNN’s report that Pelosi, after leaving her televised meeting with him, went straight to her Caucus and compared him to a skunk and questioned his manhood (https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/11/politics/pelosi-aide-trump-meeting-own-shutdown-wall-manhood/index.html).
“Oh hi, docs,” Trump said, “look what that bitch Pelosi’s saying about me! She says she played the perfect mom, but she was lying and humiliating me like she always does. Go grab her, guys, and take her away, and send her to Gitmo." But Dr. Conley distracted Trump with nude pictures of Karen McDougal as Dr. Adams surreptitiously slipped a breathing mask over Trump’s face and administered general anesthesia, and Trump was out cold. Then Drs. Adams and Conley got the Secret Service to take him to the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, where he’ll remain indefinitely until well after the new Congress is sworn in on January 3.
AMLO called ASR Serena Juguete at her home in Chiapas and said, “Serena, mi amiga, como puedo enganar a Mike Pence para que me deje deslizar varios cuartos de galon de tequila para que pueda olvidarme de ese estupido Muro?” ("Serena my friend, how can I trick Mike Pence into letting me slip several quarts of tequila into him so I can get him to forget all about that stupid Wall?”)
But Juguete, who, like associate solitary reporter Ernesto Cochran (who is based in Panama), has an advanced degree in evangelical theology from Denver Seminary, a conservative seminary in west Denver, replied, saying, “Olvidate del alcohol y solo dile que le garantizas que si el hace lo que Hillary habria echo, el y su esposa Karen esperimentaran el Rapto de immediato” (“Forget about the booze and just tell Pence that you guarantee him that if he does what Hillaray would have done, he and his wife Karen will experience the Rapture right away."