Betsy DeVos Loves the NRA, So She'll Do Anything LaPierre Asks Her To Do

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the Republican Party is all in favor of the uncontrolled use of firearms.


That’s why the National Rifle Association (as well as the Rocky Mountain Gun Owners, which is worse than the NRA) is in lockstep with the GOP.


Yesterday, Betsy DeVos, Donald Trump’s Secretary of Education (that’s the federal agency that then-presidential candidate Rick Perry couldn’t remember the name of in a presidential debate in either 2012 or 2016) announced that she will not stand in the way of allowing federal funds to be used by school districts to buy guns (


So we sent our best investigative reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, to visit the NRA’s top gunslinger, Wayne LaPierre, at his monstrously large office in Fairfax, Virginia.


“Wayne, what do you think about Secretary DeVos’ decision to permit federal funds to be used for schools to buy guns?”


“What’d ya say yer name is, Miss?”


“Susanna Sherman.”


“What the f___ do you think you’re doin’ bargin’ in here without any kind of necessary security clearance, past my security guards, who are armed with AR-15s and Kalishnikovs?”


“I work for Tom Perez at the DNC, and he told me to ask you a simple question.”


“Then I’ll give you a very simple answer: the NRA is solely responsible for the results of the presidential election in 2016.”


Sherman curtseyed and high-tailed it out of LaPierre’s office, without speaking a single word of French, and went back to her office in Washington, where she practiced yoga for two hours, knowing that the District of Columbia doesn’t favor guns.