Why Ken Starr and Bush Two Are Both Very Happy Today

Donald Trump loves to be dramatic. He never would have been any good as a playwright, because he would be the only character in the play. And if any critics should pan his work, he would furiously denounce them as failures.


Our readers are well aware that he gives us so much material for our blog, that we should pay him — but if that were to happen, he’d have to report it to the IRS, and, of course, he will never ever disclose his tax return.


So much for that, because we won’t be paying 45 a single penny.


Yesterday, amid much pomp and circumstance, he announced on prime time that he is nominating Judge Brett Kavanaugh, a Washington Republican judicial insider in the mold of Chief Justice John Roberts, to fill the vacancy created by the retirement of Justice Anthony Kennedy.


For months now, Schumer & Company have been praying that Kennedy would not retire until Trump is defeated in 2020.


Kavanaugh, 53, has been tasked by the Republican Party to remain on the Supreme Court until he achieves the age of 93, or later, at Kavanaugh’s discretion. His specific assignment is to reshape SCOTUS law forever and ever, to undo all the good work that the Warren Court, and its partially sensible successors, have done.


Starting with overruling Roe v. Wade (maybe). 


Once he is confirmed — which is a sure bet — Kavanaugh, Roberts, Alito, Thomas, and Gorsuch will chip away at Roe, eventually getting to the point where the individual states get to choose (pun intended) how to handle the hot-button abortion issue.


Kavanaugh will be confirmed because GOP Senators Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) and Susan Collins (Maine)— who are no dummies, and who realize that women should have the right to choose what happens with their bodies — will vote yes, along with endangered Democratic senators Heidi Heitkamp (North Dakota), Joe Donnelly (Indiana), and Joe Mancin (West Virginia), and maybe even Claire McCaskill (Missouri).


This caused our ever-alert associate solitary reporters Johanna Jones and Susanna Sherman to scurry into Judge Kavanaugh’s background.


He was White House Staff Secretary — that’s the staffer who handles the most sensitive information that the president sees — under Bush Two (remember Trump’s first Staff Secretary, Rob Porter, who had to quit after his domestic abuse history became public?)


Then, Kavanaugh went to work for Ken Starr, who was almost nominated for the Supreme Court by the conservatives’ idol, RR — yup, Ronald Reagan.


Starr viewed his most important role in life as central to the destruction of President Bill Clinton — and he came, well, we have to admit, pretty damn close to succeeding. It was Kavanaugh who was the principal author of Starr’s Report on the well-publicized misdeeds of President Clinton.


Kavanaugh worked on the presidential campaign of George W. Bush, and he was involved in all the manipulations that took place as the notoriously wrongly decided Bush v. Gore case spewed forth.


When Bush Two nominated Kavanaugh to a seat on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit — which is well known as SCOTUS Prep — Kavanaugh was rightly attacked by Democratic senators as being too partisan, which is why his confirmation for the D.C. Circuit dragged on for three years.


Associate solitary reporter Patricia Malinowski, an astute veteran of Texas Democratic politics, visited both Starr and Bush Two early this morning


“I’m totally thrilled!” Starr told Malinowski. “My best staffer ever got the job that I should have been entitled to! Whenever he issues a typically conservative decision, I’ll just smile and realize that Brett is doing the exact same thing that I woulda done!


And Bush Two, who was sitting right next to Starr, gave a high-five to Starr.


ASR Jones predicts that, with this judicial coup, Trump will survive the mid-terms virtually unscathed, unless the fractured Dems can get their act together, quick quick.