Trump Demands That Sessions Defend Him Against New York Attorney General's Lawsuit Against His Phony Foundation

While in Singapore to praise Kim Jong-un and give the North Korean dictator a victory lap, Donald Trump saluted one of Kim’s generals (, raising, once again, serious questions about whether he can ever do anything appropriate.


Today, Trump learned that New York’s Attorney General, Barbara Underwood, has sued him, his phony foundation, and Trump Jr., Ivanka, and Eric (


Naturally, Trump responded with an angry tweet (his happy tweets are few and far between).


CNN is also saying that there are rumors that one of Trump’s most steadfast defenders, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and her Deputy, Raj Shah, are about to resign.


So associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones confronted Trump and asked him which of his many lawyers will be defending him from the lawsuit just filed against him and his foundation.


“Johanna, that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard. Of course, Sessions will defend me.”


When Jones pointed out that the Attorney General is only supposed to defend official actions taken by his Administration, Trump’s response was swift and sure.


“I hired Sessions, expecting total loyalty, and he broke his word. Now’s his chance to redeem himself.”


Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman immediately went to the Justice  Department to ask Sessions to comment, but she couldn’t find him. A spokesman told Sherman that Sessions has had way too much of Trump and that he has resigned and has returned to his home town of Mobile, Alabama.


Which leaves Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein with more work than he had bargained for, because he is now briefing Trump on the report just released by Inspector General Michael Horowitz on whether then FBI Director James Comey violated Justice Department rules in the controversy over Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s handling of emails (


As he walked out of the Oval Office, Rosenstein told ASR Jones that he’s had enough, too.


That leaves the Acting Associate Attorney General, 37-year old Jesse Panuccio, in charge of Trump’s Justice Department.


“Now that Rosenstein is gone,” Panuccio told Jones, “I am totally and completely dissolving the investigation being conducted by Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Its only purpose was to harass and destroy the budding political career of Mr. Trump — who’s never done anything wrong, nothing at all, ever.”


Associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith has just told us that Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) has scheduled Panuccio’s confirmation hearing as Attorney General for tomorrow at 6 am.