What Really Happened on Sentosa Island

The first meeting yesterday between Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump was supposed to be strictly private, with only interpreters in the room — yet another sign that Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing in the world arena.


That’s partly because Trump flunks miserably when it comes to interpreting just about anything.


So now it falls to us here at AP to let everyone know that in addition to the interpreters and those two megalomaniacs, associate solitary reporter Miranda Burns made special arrangements for associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun to travel in complete secrecy from his post in Seoul to the Summit of the Ages on Sentosa island in Singapore.


“I totally need a bigly win here,” Trump told Kim, “so I’m inviting you to Mar-a-Lago so I can beat the crap out of you in golf.”


“What’s golf?” Kim said. “We have no room in the DPRK for anything like that. We need all the land we have for gulags and making nukes."


“Just as I thought,” Trump replied, “you don’t know a damn thing about how to have fun.”


“No, Donnie boy, I’m having lots of fun right now, ‘cause I’m snookering you big time.”


“If I cancel all military exercises between my soldiers and Moon Jae-in’s soldiers,” Trump begged, “will you promise to be nice to me and come to visit me in Washington for some more photo-ops?”


“Let me think about that,” Kim said. “I never trust Americans, and I’ve been snookering you dotards for years, just as my daddy did.”


ASRs Burns and Ko tried to report what they had heard to Chief of Staff John Kelly and CIA Director Gina Haspel, but they wouldn’t listen.