Trump to Revive The Apprentice, With Kim Jong-un As His First Guest; Cat Fight Outside the White House Between Roseanne and Samantha Bee

Seems both Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump want to have a photo-op on June 12 — doesn’t even matter where.


Associate solitary reporter and chief international correspondent Larry Theis was in New York yesterday as Secretary of State Mike Pompeo met with Kim Yong-chol, the right-hand man of Kim Jong-un. Theis was accompanied by associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson III, the Moderator of the Unitarian Universalist Association. Thompson was with Theis because Unitarian Universalists are well known as effective advocates of peace among nations and among peoples all over the world.


Kim Yong-chol is on our sanctions list, so he had to be given a special waiver to meet with Pompeo (hey, who minds inviting a guy at the top levels of a barbarous regime, a guy who directed the murder of some 46 South Korean sailors in 2010?)


Theis, with Thompson following close behind, managed to slip through the elaborate security which was in place. As they crawled through secret tunnels and other previously unknown passageways, Theis whispered to Thompson, “Lewis, isn’t it interesting that Pompeo and Kim Yong-chol — both of those dudes used to run their countries' spy agencies — and now they’re supposed to be the ones, not diplomats, who are arranging this photo-op?”


Thompson hadn’t given much thought to that, but he replied, “Larry, let’s just hope that both of those guys have some degree of intelligence!”


Theis interrupted the meeting (against Thompson’s advice) to ask Pompeo and Kim Yong-chol whether it was true, as suggested by a solitary reporter, that, as part of their agreement in Singapore or wherever, Trump will invite Kim Jong-un onto his newly revived Apprentice show.


“Larry,” Pompeo said, "as a matter of fact, Mr. Trump is really bored at his job, so he’s bringing back The Apprentice.”


“I’m delighted to tell you that the day after their summit in Singapore, Kim Jong-un will be Mr. Trump’s very first guest. That will happen on June 13.”


“It’s all sweetness and light now between the United States and North Korea.”


“Both you and your friend Thompson — who seems to be a moderately good guy —  he’s a lot more polite than you are — are invited to be in the live TV audience at Trump Tower."


Elsewhere, Samantha Bee appeared moments ago outside the White House, disguised as a homeless waif, and panhandling, when Roseanne Barr attacked her.


Their fight lasted for three hours, with no intervention by the White House security detail. At the end, Bee emerged victorious because she had the full backing of progressives, who loved her attack on Ivanka.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones watched their fight from her office in the West Wing. “Biggest cat fight I’ve ever seen,” she said. “But I’m sure glad that Samantha came out on top."