Netanyahu Appoints Kushner As His Ambassador to Trumpland

As dozens of Palestinian protesters died at the Gaza-Israeli border today, Donald Trump’s Treasury Secretary, Steven Mnuchin, First Daughter Ivanka, and Son-in-Law-in-Chief Jared Kushner violated international law by opening Trump’s America First Embassy in Jerusalem.


Kushner was all smiles as he called for peace between Palestinians and Israelis.


Even happier was Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who could never get along with President Obama.


Toward the end of the ceremony, Netanyahu effused, “Jared, My Son, in whom I am well pleased, I hereby grant you citizenship in the Land of Milk and Honey.”


Kushner was ecstatic, but his inherent sense of reserve prevented him from shedding tears of joy.


“And now that you and Ivanka are citizens of Israel, I hereby appoint and anoint you as my Ambassador to the Land of Trump."


Mnuchin’s net worth is $300 million. As the ceremony concluded, he told associate solitary reporter Theodore Cohen, “ You see, Ted, it’s all about the money."