Trump Fires McMaster After Putin Leak; Ryan and McConnell Keep Hiding the Ball; the Danger of Kim Jong-un Dropping Trump to the Floor Using His Expertise in Tae

Somebody took a leak by telling the media that Donald Trump’s advisers pointedly told him not to call Vladimir Putin to congratulate him on his re-relection to six more years in power, and Trump is unhappy about it (;


Quickly, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones told Chief of Staff John Kelly that it was Acting Staff Secretary Derek Lyons who urinated on the orange thing on Trump’s head.


It is widely known that Trump is about to part ways with his National Security Advisor, Gen. H.R. McMaster.


Earlier today, ASR Jones was with Trump and Kelly. Son-in-law-in-chief Jared Kushner was not there since he has no access to top secret briefing materials. It is uncertain whether Kushner was in Jerusalem with Benjamin Netanyahu. It is absolutely certain that he was not in Gaza.


As everybody knows, Trump has a really vicious temper. Melania has no idea what to do about it — nor did Ivanka or Marla.


Associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, who covers Congress for us, has reported, along with numerous other reporters, that Ryan, McConnell & Co. have met with Trump and that Trump has reluctantly agreed to what that dynamic dual are about to thrust on their respective caucuses in the all-important budget bill. Problem is, however, that almost nobody else in Congress has seen the deal enshrined in the bill.


Associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun, based in Seoul, spoke yesterday with South Korean President Moon Jae-in and asked him whether it is true that if there is to be a meeting anywhere in the world between Little Rocket Man and Trump that there is also the possibility of a three-way meeting between Kim, Moon, and Trump.


Moon was uncertain. “Frankly, Mr. Ko, it is absolutely impossible from one hour to the next to know what Trump is going to do. I really don’t think there is going to be any kind of summit between Kim and Trump.”


“But if there is to be one and I am at Trump’s side, what am I to do when Kim uses his expertise in taekwondo to drop Trump to the floor?”


Back at the White House, Kelly told Jones that Trump squarely blames McMaster for the leak and that McMaster will be escorted from the White House later today, probably by Lyons, the Acting Staff Secretary.