California Launches Plan to Secede

Always trying to please his boss, Attorney General Jeff Sessions filed suit on Tuesday against California.


Why would he want to do that?


California has passed three laws to protect undocumented immigrants.


Sessions doesn’t like that.


So he filed a lawsuit on Tuesday in federal district court in Sacramento, and then yesterday he went to Sacramento to give a speech to a law enforcement gathering. He complained loudly against Oakland’s mayor, Libby Schaaf, for refusing to help ICE deport illegal aliens.


Immediately, California’s Democratic governor, Jerry Brown, pushed back against Sessions. No surprise there because Brown is a very frequent critic of the Trump Administration.


Flanked by his Attorney General, Xavier Becerra, the governor said that one of the reasons for Sessions’ lawsuit against his state is that, as everybody knows, Trump, the angriest occupant of the White House we have ever had, likes nothing better than to criticize Sessions for not protecting him against investigations into ties between Russia and his presidential campaign in 2016 (


Waiting in the wings as soon as Brown left the stage was associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, the highest paid of all our dozens of ASRs.


“Susanna,” Brown said, “I’m so glad to see you. You’re the first to know. I’m heading straight over to the legislature, which we good Democrats control, to set in motion our secession from the United States.”


“If we were a separate country, which we soon will be, we would have the world's seventh largest economy.”


“It’s time.”


When Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis heard about Brown’s plan, he tried to see Trump right away, but Trump was too busy defending himself against his numerous accusers, such as Stormy Daniels.