This is one of those days where we here at AP have been forced by circumstances well beyond our control to mention numerous breaking news stories.
And we’re not even bringing in any of our ever-growing corps of trusted associate solitary reporters to cover Donald Trump’s sweet, sweet gift to Florida’s outrageously Republican governor, Rick Scott. Trump yesterday called off his threat to authorize drilling for oil off Florida’s coasts (https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/09/florida-senate-scott-trump-oil-drilling-333144?lo=ap_c1), or the ruling by the Very Honorable William Alsup, a federal district judge nominated by President Clinton, to halt Trump’s xenophobic effort to shut down the DACA program for protecting Dreamers (https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/09/trump-dreamers-daca-judge-333143). In his ruing, Judge Alsup, who grew up in Mississippi, said that the conclusion of Trump’s Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, that DACA is illegal, is based on a “flawed legal premise.” And what about the (inevitable) decision by Trump-loving former Aricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, 85, to run for Sen. Jeff Flake’s seat in Arizona?
Yesterday, we “reported” that that man of many careers, Steve Bannon, was wandering homeless in Washington after being forced out of Breitbart News. See https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/09/bannon-steps-down-from-breitbart-news-329603?lo=ap_c1. See the conclusion of https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2018/01/09/how-can-this-be-trump-was-in-el-salvador-today-kaine-to-asr-smith-i-am-a-much-better-candidate-than-oprah/ to read our incisive report on Bannon’s homelessness.
But, just as Bannon went straightaway back to Breitbart News after Trump’s Chief of Staff, Gen. John Kelly, fired him on August 17, our chief Florida correspondent, Kevin St. Gaudens, followed Bannon to Rush Limbaugh’s radio studio in Palm Beach. Kevin St. Gaudens is a great-grandson of famed American sculptor Augustus St. Gaudens (1848-1907), who sculpted numerous statues of famed Civil War generals on the Union side.
Limbaugh is one of the world’s richest celebrities. In 1994, Republicans in the US House of Representatives, following the electoral success of the Gingrich Revolution, made Limbaugh an honorary member of their caucus. He has poisoned the airways while continually feeding Bannonites, Tea Partiers, crazed followers of former part-time Alaska governor Sarah Palin, Cliven Bundyites, and Trumpites what they crave.
“I was only homeless for a few hours,” Bannon told St. Gaudens, “so I borrowed one of my close personal friend Cliven Bundy’s numerous horses and rode all the way to Palm Beach. Dammit, St. Gaudens, quit following me so close.”
As they reached the outside of Limbaugh’s studio, Rush had reached the zenith of his daily rant against the mainstream press and the Democratic Party. That’s when Bannon broke in, as St. Gaudens videotaped Bannon pummeling Limbaugh to the ground, yelling, “Get out! I’m taking over! You’ve had your day in the sun! I brought you a s___load of painkllers, go stuff them down your ugly gullet,” whereupon Limbaugh sheepishly acceded to Bannon’s demands.
In other news, Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), 84, called Trump, insisting that the current occupant of the White House direct his unbeloved Attorney General to indict Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-California) (also 84) after she unexpectedly, and without the approval of Grassley, released the 312-page transcript of Fusion GPS co-founder Glenn Simpson’s August 2017 interview with the Senate Judiciary Committee (https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/09/feinstein-releases-transcript-of-interview-with-fusion-gps-co-founder-329573). That transcript shows that Simpson’s attorney said that it was dangerous to discuss the notorious dossier’s sources because its public release last year had already led to the murder of a Russian intelligence operative.
As associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones observed, as soon as Grassley called him, Trump, who is very close to firing his Attorney General, called Sessions and said, “Sessions, I’m giving you one last chance. Get Dianne Feinstein indicted right away, and you can stay working for me for another week.”