Trump Gets to Have His Pai and Eat It Too

Although Donald Trump pretends to favor voters who have felt disenfranchised by elitists (both political and in the business world), his actions since becoming the Chief Twitterer of the United States have consistently shown that his gut instincts (governed by his high testosterone levels) always favor bigly operators.


As a filthy rich businessman who never likes to be told what to do (especially by the courts), he does not favor governmental regulation of businesses.


Especially big businesses such as yuge companies like Comcast, Verizon, Fox News, etc.


In May, 2012, President Obama was required by law to appoint a Republican to fill a vacancy on the Federal Communications Commission, and at that time he nominated Ajit Pai as a commissioner on the FCC at the recommendation of then Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.


Pai, an Indian American from Buffalo and Parsons, Kansas, has a bachelor's degree from Harvard and a law degree from the University of Chicago. His parents are both physicians.


He began his legal career as a law clerk for a federal district court judge in Louisiana, and then he worked as an attorney in the Justice Department’s Antitrust Division on its Telecommunications Task Force.


Next, he went to work for Verizon, where he handled competition matters, regulatory issues, and counseling of business units on broadband initiatives.


Always moving onward and upward, he became Deputy Chief Counsel to the Senate Judiciary Committee's Subcommittee on Administrative Oversight and the Courts. Later, he landed a job as Deputy General Counsel of the FCC.


Then, after Trump received more votes than Hillary did in the Electoral College, he eagerly appointed Pai, 44, as Chairman of the FCC.


Yesterday, Pai and his two Republican colleagues on the five-member FCC nixed the FCC’s Obama-era Net Neutrality rule (, which required internet service providers (ISPs) to treat all data on the Internet the same, and not discriminate or charge differently by user, content, website, platform, or application; for instance, under the principle of net neutrality (now rescinded by Pai & Co.), ISPs are unable intentionally to block, slow down, or charge money for specific websites and online content (


Gigi Sohn, a net neutrality advocate who worked as an FCC aide when the net neutrality rules were passed in 2015, said, “[because of yesterday’s party-line vote by the Republicans on the FCC] you will [now] see fast lanes and slow lanes. You can’t have fast lanes without slow lanes…that will mean some of your websites are going to load slower, and some you like, mainly smaller ones, may cease to exist because they can’t pay to get to their customers faster.”


Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman was with FCC Commissioner Mignon Clyburn (daughter of Congressman Jim Clyburn (D-South Carolina), the third most powerful Democrat in the House after House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-California) and House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Maryland)). Commissioner Clyburn is one of only two Democrats on the FCC. “Ajit Pai is a tool of Trump and Company,” Commissioner Clyburn told Sherman.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was with Trump as his nemesis, CNN, reported on yesterday’s FCC repeal of net neutrality.


“Know what I’m gonna do?” Trump said, with Chief of Staff John Kelly at his side.


“What’s that, Sir?” Jones asked, pretending to be respectful.


“As soon as that old fart Anthony Kennedy calls me to tell me that he’s retiring from the Supreme Court, I’m gonna put Ajit Pai on the Supreme Court to replace him.”


“Ajit always does what I want, and I like my subordinates to do what I want. If they don’t, I fire ‘em right away even though John here often tries to talk me out of it.”


“Clarence Thomas was only 47 when Bush One nominated him for the Supreme Court. And Ajit is only 44 now.”


“Even though God has, as I understand Him, promised me a third term and a fourth term before He raises me up to Republican Heaven, I am aware that my most lasting contributions while sitting here in my Oval Office will be to put my lackeys on the Supreme Court.”


Ever diligent and obeying orders, General Kelly immediately told Deputy Chief of Staff Ricky Dearborn (who previously worked for Trump’s Attorney General (for the time being at least), Jeff Sessions) to begin the process of vetting Pai for a seat on the Supreme Court.


Ever the comedian, Trump said, “I call that having my Pai and eating it too."