Senator-elect Jones Joins Mueller's Team

Special Counsel (and former FBI Director) Robert Mueller has sixteen lawyers working for him on the investigation into Russian interference in our 2016 presidential election, with a total staff of over three dozen, including investigators and other non-attorneys. But he’s just gotten started, and Donald Trump wants to fire him and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein — who appointed Mueller as Special

Counsel — in the worst way. On Tuesday, Mueller, a workaholic, took a few hours off and watched the election returns in Alabama’s special election to fill the Senate seat of Trump’s Attorney General, Jeff Sessions. Against all odds in a deep red state, former federal prosecutor Doug Jones defeated Alabama’s leading pedophile, so-calleld Judge Roy Moore, and Jones, who had never run for office before, is now Senator-elect Doug Jones.


In the late 1990s, as United States Attorney for the Northern District of Alabama, Jones successfully prosecuted the two remaining Ku Klux Klan thugs responsible for the 1963 bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham which killed four African American teenage girls. He also secured indictments against Eric Rudolph, the Olympic Park Bomber, who was convicted for a series of antiabortion and anti-gay-motivated bombings across the southern United States between 1996 and 1998, which killed two people and injured over 120 others. Rudolph spent over five years hiding in the Appalachian wilderness before his arrest. Rudolph is a permanent resident of Colorado at the Supermax federal prison near Florence, Colorado.


Doug Jones’ sister, Johanna Jones, is our top associate solitary reporter. After Doug Jones defeated Judge Roy Moore, he received a call from Mueller. Jones and Mueller have known each other for many years. Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman was with Mueller as he made the call. Johanna Jones was graduated from Northwestern University Law School in 1988. Her legal career has largely consisted of serving as an undercover sleuth. Ever since Trump threw his hat in the presidential race, she has followed Trump wherever he goes.


“Doug,” Mueller began, “I have long admired your career as a lawyer and as a prosecutor. Congratulations on your victory.”


“Thanks,” Jones said. “As you already know, Bob, I have admired your work as FBI Director and Special Counsel for a long time.”


“Doug,” Mueller continued, “I know you’re going to be busy representing Alabama, but I need your help in my investigation of Trump.”


Jones wondered what was coming next.


“I need more help. I want you to join my team.”


“Bob, you can’t be serious! I just got elected to the Senate, and Schumer has big plans for me!”


“But Doug, I am totally serious. See Doug, senators have big staffs to help them in their work. You’ve got a lot of energy, and having to sit through countless filibusters and make-work committee meetings is gonna to make you totally bored. All I need from you is a couple of hours a day. Let me explain: Not only are you a crack prosecutor, Doug, but your sister, Johanna, can tell you all about everything that that SOB does. Just pass all that good stuff on to me and we’l have him out of the White House in the twinkling of an eye.”


The Senator-elect thought about it for ten seconds and smiled. “Bob,” he said. “I’m in.”