Trump Endorses Independence For Catalonia; Is Said To Consider Favoring Independence for Kurdistan

With associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones at his side, Donald Trump, who enthusiastically supported Brexit, tweeted moments ago that he “fully supports” independence for Catalonia.


The tweet came as a surprise to Catalonia’s president, Charles Puigdemont i Casamajo. Spain’s ambassador to Washington, Pedro Morenés, presented himself at the State Department only ten minutes ago demanding to see Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.


“Pedro, my friend,” Tillerson began, “this is the first I’ve heard of it.”


“As the whole world knows, the guy I signed up to work for usually doesn’t tell me what he’s planning to do.”


Feeling sorry for Tillerson, Jones sidled up to him, and in her most diplomatic language (that’s really hard for her) urgently said, “Mr. Secretary, I hate to tell you this, but Trump is seriously considering endorsing independence for the Kurds in Iraq. He admires the toughness of the Peshmurga fighters.”


Tillerson apologized to Morenés and called Trump’s aide-de-camp, Jared Kushner, and said, “Do y’all mind a whole lot if you could let me know what the supposed Commander-in-Chief plans to do from one moment to the next?”


Kushner hung up.