LaPierre And His Bump Stock Proposal

In his fruitless efforts to convince the American voting public that his NRA is reasonable, Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s top gun, has proposed that Donald Trump’s government regulate bump stocks — as the whole world knows by now, that’s what the Las Vegas bigtime gambler shooter used on October 1 to annihilate 58 people, wounding 489, in the worst mass shooting in American history.


Ever seeking to capitalize on s__t that happens in the West, ISIS initially claimed responsibly — fake news of the worst sort (probably making Trump’s close personal friends Roger Stone, Alex Jones, and Steve Bannon smile).


Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, who covers justice issues for us, confronted LaPierre at his bigly headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia. “Susanna,” LaPierre said, "let me give you a headsup on why I proposed that. See, whenever these mass shootings occur, the first thing the Democrats start yelling about is that it’s all my fault.”


“But let me tell you, my NRA is scared s______s that one of our rival pro-gun organizations — like Dudley Brown’s Rocky Mountain Gun Owners — will come out more extreme than us.”


“That’s why I am scared s______s about even suggesting any regulation of guns, ‘cause my board consists mostly of the gun manufacturers.”


“Donald Trump is my close personal political friend, and I totally love how Mitch McConnell campaigned not long ago in Kentucky while brandishing a rifle — even though he looks like a damn fool when he does it.”


“I want Trump to find Jeffrey Toobin — who loves nothing better than to go after me full stop — and lock him up. Toobin's New Yorker is full of s__t."


Soon, ASR Sherman was joined by associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who asked LaPierre whether he thinks his proposal that the feds regulate bump stocks will ever be enacted.


“Hell no,” LaPierre replied. “We just do that ’til the uproar dies down.”


“I totally support Trump’s plan to replace the First Amendment with the Second Amendment."