Spicer's Off to Moscow to Work for Putin's RT (Russia Today)

It’s really boring for us here at AP to cover what’s going on in Washington and elsewhere.


This morning, Donald Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, resigned, after Trump hired hedge funds mogul Anthony Scaramucci to be his Communications Director. Spicer doesn’t want to work under

Scaramucci — who, interestingly enough, raised bigly sums for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign in 2008.


Communication, of course, is something that Trump thinks he is really good at.


Come to think of it, there isn't anything that the current occupant of the White House thinks that he is not good at.


Scaramucci, like Trump, comes to Washington with virtually no government experience, with the exception of a very brief stint at the Export-Import Bank, appointed by Trump.


So what does Scaramucci have in his favor? Well, for one thing, he’s much better looking than Spicer, who, before becoming Trump’s incompetent press secretary, was a Republican hack employed at the RNC.


Scaramucci’s one of those Wall Street guys who thinks he knows everything about everything. Just like Trump, the most ignorant of just about all our presidents.


In 2005, Scaramucci founded SkyBridge Capital, a global alternate investment firm.


Why an alternate investment firm? 


The answer to that one is easy: Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s third campaign manager and one of his chief sycophants, originated the concept of “alternative facts” to explain stuff that she wanted the media to report, that didn’t happen.


Scaramucci will fit right in at the White House.


According to associate solitary reporter Foma Kheroshonsky, who is based in Moscow, Spicer will replace Margarita Simonyan, the Armenian-Russian editor-in-chief of the English-language aspect of Russia Today (RT), which is funded by the Russian government.


Kheroshonsky was with Spicer and Russian president Vladimir Putin as Putin announced Spicer’s appointment.


“Given the exceptionally close relations between me and the guy in the White House whom I am so good at hoodwinking,” Putin said, “it only makes sense that Comrade Spicer should be working for me.”


Spicer smiled as he accepted the appointment, on the condition that Putin give him permission to visit Edward Snowden and kick him in the cojones.