Kushner and Pompeo to Trump: Celebrate Kim Jongun's Missile Failure

With no previous experience in government, Donald Trump is getting a lot of on-the-job training these days.


Mr. Trump noticeably missed the mark today, the 100th day that he has occupied the White House. He can celebrate no significant legislative victories, and he is still reeling from the defeat handed to him by the Freedom Caucus in the House when he tried to “Repeal and Replace” the Affordable Care Act.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones has unfettered access to Mr. Trump, even though he doesn’t know it. So it came as no surprise to Jones that, early this morning, he summoned his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, on an urgent basis. Trump and Kushner were joined by CIA Director Mike Pompeo.


“Son,” Trump began, “the Left has been on my back about this stupid 100 day thing, and it really p_____ me off!”


“Dad, I know, all the Left wants to do is kick your butt right out of the White House.”


“The boy dictator in North Korea has been defying, not only me, but my close personal friend in Beijing, President Xi, and just yesterday, knowing full well that today is the 100th day since my inauguration, he shot off yet another missile.”


“But, Dad, I think there’s a silver lining here.”




“Dad, Director Pompeo would like to tell you about Kim Jongun’s latest missile failure.”


“Let’s hear it.”


“Sir,” Pompeo said, “the missile which the North Koreans tried to test fire yesterday was a medium-range ballistic missile, the KN-17, and it didn’t even make it to the Sea of Japan. The main part of the thing landed only 22 miles from their Pukchang airfield, and, of course, there was no announcement of it on North Korean state television.”"


“Dad, this is wonderful material for spinning. Tell Spencer to tell the world how incompetent the North Koreans are and how superior our military technology is.”


When he got his talking orders, Spicer was, at first, dubious, knowing full well that the White House press corps would laugh him out of the room, but he did as he was told — as usual.


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