Secret Visits by Trump Boys to White House Disclose Their Plan to Liberate North Korea

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION, 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE NW — Of all our numerous associate solitary reporters, ASR Johanna Jones is the busiest, because she is with Donald Trump day and night.


In today’s Politico, Josh Gerstein reports that the Knight First Amendment Institute at Columbia University is filing suit in federal district court in Manhattan to compel the White House to release logs of visitors to Trump’s White House.


Since Trump wages constant war on anyone who seeks to shine light on his countless nefarious activities, we can be sure that his Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, will drop everything — including his strenuous efforts to block the implementation of consent decrees achieved during the Obama Administration’s Justice Department and cities such as Baltimore and Ferguson to reform their police departments – to prevent the Knight First Amendment Institute from finding out who has been visiting the Trumpites who advise the leader of the free world.


Which is why Jones was quick to jump into action.


As reported to us by Jones, Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump – who are running The Donald’s global business empire without, supposedly, consulting him in the least — turn up at breakfast, lunch, and dinner virtually every day. After all, it’s only a short walk from Trump’s new luxury hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House.


To avoid detection, Trump Jr. and Eric have been entering the White House posing as visiting Russian oligarchs who are ready to make bigly deals for The Trump Organization to open resorts in places in Russia such as Sochi, on the Black Sea, where the weather is mild.


Jones is such a great reporter that she is even able to let the world know what the Trump boys and their father have been saying to each other over caviar and vodka.


“Dad,” Eric began, “it’s a well-known fact that ever since America became a major power, what a poor, impoverished country needs to do to get bigly American economic aid, is to declare war on the United States, lose that war big time, and then reap all the benefits of a Marshall Plan-type aid package.”


“North Korea would be a perfect example," Trump Jr. chimed in.


“Dad, most people in South Korea, who have benefited greatly from capitalism since their country was devastated in the Korean War, have been desperate to welcome their North Korean brothers and sisters to the benefits of capitalism,” Eric continued. "So it’s really important that we get in to North Korea before the South Koreans do.”


“Boys,” Trump said, “I’m really proud of you.”


Trump then picked up the phone to talk with his Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, and his Secretary of Defense, James Mattis, and told them to send their best Tomahawk missiles to Pyongyang, targeting the boy dictator, Kim Jongun.


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