Flynn To Be Putin's Minister of Emergency Situations

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION, 1600  PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, AND THE KREMLIN — Moments after resigning as Donald Trump's National Security Advisor, Gen. Mike Flynn told associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones that he is moving to Moscow to serve as Vladimir Putin’s Minister of Emergency Situations. According to associate solitary reporter Foma Kherochovski, the Minister of Emergency Situations is the closest analogue in Russia to our National Security Advisor.


Putin and Flynn are longtime friends. Flynn, the sole Democrat on Trump’s team, began advising Trump on his ill-considered, malevolent political campaign in early 2016.


While Barack Obama was still president, Flynn had illegal conversations with Putin's ambassador to the US, Sergei Ivanovich Kislyak, whose enormously fat triple chin makes him even more unattractive than Mitch McConnell.


Jones was with Flynn at Dulles International Airport as he boarded an Aeroflot redeye to Moscow to assume his new position. He will be replacing Gen. Vladimir Puchkov, according to Kherochovski. Kherochovski tells us that Puchkov will soon be moving to Washington. If Ambassador Kislyak doesn’t want him as his Counselor, Trump may assign him as the personal assistant (gopher) to Secretary of Labor designate Andrew Puzder, since their names are similar.


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