NOGALES, SONORA — After yesterday’s tweetstorm from the White House, in which Donald Trump advised Mexico’s president, Henrique Peña Nieto, that Mexico will have to pay for Trump’s Wall, Peña Nieto has taken matters into his own hands.
Associate solitary reporter Emmanuelita Benavidez observed closely as Peña Nieto, accompanied by thousands of white Americans who are sensible enough to realize that the United States is not the only country in the world, operated a bulldozer, accompanied by Rogelio Zambrano, who runs Mexico’s largest construction company, Cemex.
“Estamos construyendo una pared para evitar que Señor Trump entre en nuestro país” (“ We are building our own wall to keep Mr. Trump out of our country”), Peña Nieto explained to Benavidez, “y Trump tendra que pagar por ello” (“and Trump will have to pay for it himself”).
At the White House, Trump’s seniormost, and loudest, as well as least informed counselor, Kellyanne Conway, interviewed by associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, said that nothing of the sort had taken place. “That’s just alternative reality,” Conway explained to the usual horde of photographers, as all hell broke loose in the West Wing.